the appeal of remaining lost.


I have spent countless hours thinking about this word, this concept, and how the meaning of it in its entirety fits into my life. I love the word and the meaning behind it. Lost, in my mind, is a wonderful way to be. I am lost within the beauty and magic that this world has to offer. I find little pieces of my lost self in the people, places, animals and things that touch my heart. I don’t need to pick these pieces up. I like them being scattered throughout the world. I want to belong to the world and accept with great happiness everything that it brings into my life.


It has been four years since I met my lost boys and my life has changed in so many ways but the spirit of life that that group of friends who became family imparted me with has remained an integral part of how I chose to live each day of my life. And right now, the spirit of being lost, applies more to my life than ever as I create a new life and home for myself halfway around the world from everyone and everything that I hold dear.


The history of being lost in my life starts in Indialantic, Florida with a group of friends that, though I have been horrible at keeping in touch with, will always have a home in my life and my heart. My friend Joel best describes how we impacted each other’s lives over the fateful two years we spent laughing, learning, loving and living in each other’s company:

“Thinking today about the lost boys, the rag tag group of miscreants that by some slip of fate found each other on the beaches of East Florida. This group of young men and women that sought only joy in a strange new place. Bonded together by love and need and ambition to find a better life. Although we all arrived in a different way, knew a different life, the kindred pull of our spirits brought us closer than any family could ever hope for. Our adventures were more fun than should be granted in one lifetime, even if it was only enjoying the presents of one another’s company. I can say now, looking back, that any person walking through this, the journey of life, could only hope, in their wildest of dreams or fantasies, to be so wonderfully lost as were, the forever legendary, lost boys.”

still my bestest friend
still my bestest friend

I love thinking of how my life has fallen together in such delightfully random ways. I can see each and every person that I meet in such a beautiful light because I truly believe that they were meant to walk into my life. They might not change my life, I may not change theirs, but the sense that there was, and is, a reason behind every relationship that exists, excites me and makes me crave more. I my goal as I continue this Cambodian adventure is to remain delightfully and purposefully lost as I take in all that the world throws my way.


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